Seeking the elusive Happy Relationship 

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Overdosing on Mrs. Maisel – no wonder relationships are so difficult. 


Here’s a true confession. I just joined this century, cut the cord and started streaming. It’s a new experience because in the past I wandered off during the commercials since I had usually seen the content or it just didn’t matter if you missed half the TV show. Now I am a much more committed TV watcher. I also haven’t found anyone else who laid awake over Mrs. Maisel – welcome to my brain☹. 


I’d heard about The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel so I was excited to watch for myself. Again, divulging more than I should, I LOVE the color coordinated outfits, shoes and the hats! Don’t get me wrong, it would be exhausting for me to dress that way every day, but I can appreciate the end result.


What I didn’t expect was the range of emotions this series would elicit from me. After watching four back to back, I had to stop the madness and step away from the TV. When I mentioned this to a few friends, they raised their eyebrows and slowly edged away.  


Sure, Joel was a douche bag and many of us can relate to being suddenly left adrift. But there was angst much deeper than this for me. Here’s what I realized:


No wonder our relationships are messy. There’s no guidebook and in the realm of time, this period in history wasn’t that long ago. Cripes, many of our mothers were raised during this period! Gender roles were well defined with everyone knowing their place. Right or wrong, they knew the parameters and expectations. Within a second (time wise), there were no more role models. Everyone was scrambling to find their place in the world. Women are still struggling to play by female rules in a patriarchal society.

Sure, Joel was a douche bag and many of us can relate to being suddenly left adrift.

I’m not blaming men, but they were instrumental in changing the rules. It’s beyond my comprehension to see why that time period generated such a shift in society but I’m sure someone out there has studied it. Suddenly, women were forced to adapt with very limited options. They were thrown into a world that still contained expectations and parameters, but they weren’t given the guidebook. 


For me, the whole comedy thing was a little bit of a stretch, but I’ll play along. What was really interesting was that Midge became a man. Sorry guys, generalizing here. Like Joel, she said to the world, my feelings are the ones that matter. Forget that I’ve been raised to value relationships. Midge used her new career to spew her anger at all her current and potential relationships. Funny or not, she effectively lobbed a grenade at every relationship in her life. She goes out of her way to alienate those who she deems “hypocrites”. She goes full tilt the other direction and becomes self-righteous. 


Such a fascinating history of our relationships, not only the intimate ones but our family and friends as well. It’s an elegant lesson that as we change our role in a group, then the group and our relationships often change. Sometimes the change is an explosion, but more often it’s much more subtle. Those people who have supported us in the past, can’t or are unwilling to grow with us and must be left behind. Thankfully, other people will enter our lives to keep pushing us out of our box.    


I did go back and finish Mrs. Maisel but I learned I could only watch two at a time. The whole time I was watching, I shook my head. Maybe as Midge progresses, she will evolve into a more authentic woman. She is vividly going through a struggle to find a place amongst the men. I’m hoping that she can rise above and give us a role model. 


There’s no doubt that the topic of relationships color my world. As women, we have made so many strides, have more power and more options. With power comes responsibility. Part of our power is the ability to build and foster relationships that benefit ourselves, people in our circle and the world. Through relationships, we will find the key to our happiness and a way to heal the world. 

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